When I’m Still In Love with My Ex, How Do I Heal My Broken Heart?

In your head the breakup is still fresh as such it is realistic to think “I’m still in love with my ex.” You are still clinging to some hope that you will get back together which doesn’t mean that the break up had to be recent. All you can think about is “How can I get them back and heal my broken heart?”

Be cautious of what you hope for because with the holidays coming up it’s normal to feel lonely and want what you use to have. Getting back together with your ex might not be the best thing, so before you proceed you make sure you really think it through.

You need to consider the reasons why you broken up in the first place. Doesn’t matter what the problems maybe, can you single-handedly mend it? The things that only you can do may be the only things that can be changed if your ex is not on board with trying to make it work.

Clearly something was wrong with the relationship otherwise it would not have ended and you don’t wish for the same old relationship again. So instead of repeating the same old cycle, which will not be appealing to your ex, you need to add something new to the relationship.

For example, think about the things that went wrong in your relationship, what were your fights about? Who started the fights, you or him? After my breakup I discovered I was way too motherly, I always tried to fix everything, instead of allowing him to figure things out. Making him feel like a child and inferior, is what this did. Otherwise like my friend Serena, she drove her husband away because she let her resentment and anger out on him, are you like this?

By allowing us to look at the past without emotion and more objectively, hindsight is a amazing thing. Write down the things you think went wrong and now try and change them. Before attempting to talk to your ex, if you were angry, you need to try and let that anger go. If you are like me, always trying to fix things, learn to listen and be there for him instead of trying to fix everything. By letting him come up with a few thoughts it will improve his ego and prove to himself that he can take care of himself.

By making an sincere effort to change once you have figured out what you must to do, only then can you begin to restore a friendship with your ex. Take things slow and test the waters a little bit. You may scare him off forever if you push too hard. If he seems to be responding to your efforts then maybe try hanging out, invite him out with some friends, but keep it really casual. Let him see that you have changed, don’t point it out to him, if it was a real sore spot in your relationship then he will definitely notice.

Let the relationship take its course, it may be slow going but that is ok. Various things take longer to repair than others. He needs to know that it is not just temporary and that you have changed for the long haul. Hopefully by the holidays instead of thinking, “I’m still in love with my ex, how can I heal my broken heart?” you will be thinking about what the New Year will bring for the two of you.